Nice guy syndrome

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Posted by Richard Ferdinand : 12/3/11

I've been suffering depression since i was around 17. I was diagnosed with Tourettes syndrome when i was 13! and i was the subject of bullying and ridicule from the other kids at school. So bad it became i was allocated a place in a special needs school. This was not the place for me! i was among pupils who had severe learning difficulties, i didn't have any. But because of my syndrome, i wasn't allowed main stream school. This over time made my confidence and self esteem drop to a low level. My father wasn't a very supportive person, my mum was the only one that supported me through the bad spells of vocal tics. My dad would say cruel things like, I really wished i had son who didn't grunt and twitch like a moron! Whilst being at special school i lost all contact and with friends at my old school who were now getting on with their lives, i was becoming a virtual prisoner in my own home after coming home from school. My parents said this was to stop me be teased by other kids, but they depriving me of leading a normal life, intergrating and doing things that develop social skills and structuring. As a result of this, i was very shy and lack confidence when i started to venture out in adulthood, my parents by this time had divorced, and my my mum thought she could still tell me at 22 that i can't venture too far, i soon corrected her on that fact, and she would go into her stupid teenage like moods when she couldn't get her own way. The last time i kissed a girl was in 1993! The next time i kissed another girl and had sex with her was in 1999,i was still a virgin till 1999, Age 23) 6 years without any contact all due to being brainwashed into believing that i wouldn't be able to go out and lead a normal life and make friends and meet girls. This legacy has been the root of my depression. And i have tried to commit suicide twice in my life, most recently 2009. I have no social skills, no job, no GF at present, and suffer nice guy syndrome as well. How am i suppose to not feel bitter and angry when i see other guys getting girls with ease, and all the droves of happy people in the company of friends and BF/GFs. I don't know what to do anymore.

Posted by Richard Ferdinand : 12/3/11

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