Tag: self help

Do you See what small miracles can do?

Do you believe in small miracles which keep on showing us the real meaning of being alive and also create the vital difference to our emotional wellbeing. There are many wonders in the world like colorful sunset, the kindness of strangers, etc. God puts many such miracles in front of us everyday and we should be relishing them with both hands.

Have you ever thought about the everyday small miracles that occur in your life? Things like finding a $100 bill in a jacket pocket a week before payday. Or when your friends come to your aid even before you understand the need.

Take a moment to ponder the beauty of life, love and friendship, recognizing the power of God’s grace. Stopping and admiring the little miracles of nature and life, seems like a distant possibility in current busy times. Small miracles happening in our everyday life is a significant part of living a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Some of the scientists believe that noticing small miracles can be healing for our brain and is a crucial way to heal and nurture our sense of purpose in life. By this you can create a habit to cultivate joy to refocus when our thoughts are negative and loud. It reconnects us to ourselves. Just see yourself reflected in its beauty, richness and diversity.

How to take notice of small miracles?

Start by using your senses to their fullesh – What do I see, smell, hear, taste and feel?

1. The scent of jasmine wafting past
2. The delicious magic of preparing a cake
3. Spotting a bird that you’ve never seen before
4. Reading a poem that makes you see something
5. Find solace in a rose petal,
6. See the beauty of your partners eyes
7. Read words that help you feel less alone
8. Reconnect to a meal you used to cook with your mom once.
9. Notice something that’s been quietly and beautifully blooming, whether you ever paid attention to it or not.

A New Way to Understand the Narcissistic Male

though many people can be selfish and conceited from time to time, some individuals take it to a whole other level. When these traits define the person – and they negatively impact everyone who is part of their life for as long as they are a part of it – they usually signal a mental health condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Like all personality disorders, naricissism can have far-reaching consequences for both the one suffering from it and the people who care about them.

Some typical characteristics of Narcissistic Males

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have a very distorted sense of self. They are generally “grandiose”, which means they have an inflated or exaggerated opinion of their positive traits and / or abilities. Even though some are very attractive, highly intelligent, or exceptionally talented, narcissists typically regard themselves as elite or exceptional compared to everyone else.

The Statistics of Narcissism

There are no firm statistics available in regard to the frequency of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Psychologists state that 1% of the population is diagnosed with NPD, and that 75% of the cases in therapy are men. Remind yourself that this 1% statistic is gathered only from individuals diagnosed in therapy.

By definition, narcissists severely lack humility and will avoid admitting there’s something wrong with them at all costs. Most narcissists in therapy are forced there by the courts, or have arrived for ‘other’ reasons such as alcoholism or a divorce. They usually don’t show up to deal with ‘narcissistic’ behaviour.

According to experts estimates there are up to 16% of society who are severely narcissistic. This is almost 1 in every 6 people. I believe this is a much more accurate assessment. What is frightening is: narcissists are extremely emotionally insecure.

Narcissists thrive on the praise and admiration of others. Their air of superiority is exaggerated often quite obvious, although some narcissists are very skilled at pretending to be humble when necessary.

Symptoms of Narcissistic Persons

  1. Exaggerated sense regarding their accomplishments and talents
  2. Use of others to get what they want in life
  3. Belittlement of others to boost their fragile self-esteem
  4. Obsessive self-involvement
  5. Inability to feel empathy; lack of a sincere interest in others
  6. Slightest criticism is met with rage and/or shame
  7. Inability to maintain healthy relationships
  8. Unreasonable expectations of favoritism
  9. Striving for constant admiration and attention
  10. Fantasies revolving around personal success and attractiveness

Treatment or Handling options

While medication can help treat symptoms of depression or anxiety that may also be present, there is no medication that is effective for the treatment of narcissistic personality disorder.

7 Strengths for 7 Stressors of Today

The modern world today has been the worst all across human history for the stress effects on our daily life. There are many people who are feeling the psychological burden. Lot of us are feeling very tired and withdrawn from everyday routine and daily activities. The constant exposure to media is aggravating the situation towards the downward spiral because of the environmental and social events happening all around us and in the world we live.

Here are some of the top stressors in the current times and how we can overcome them to live a simple yet fulfilling life. Following these tips will mobilize your strengths towards achieving greater resilience and buoyancy in daily life.

1. The world is going through tough times and going to a shallow bottom – there are many horrific events like fires, earthquakes, hurricanes, and flooding. The political environment all around is also not giving any sense of stability either.

To cope up, remember that in all the times of despair and calamity, we see many resources being mobilized by people to care for others whom they do not know or never met. This is the human nature which has made us coexist since so long. The feeling of altruism, sympathy, and empathy are still in all of us fundamentally. Be helpful and provide hope for yourself and others.

2. Are we destroying our planet and making it inhabitable – The population of the world has been growing ad currently it is over populated, due to which we are consuming more and more resources. This causes Earth to suffer due to waste, deterioration of resources, oil reserves, etc.

Well, think that the basic step starts from you. We must do all that we can individually and collectively to make our planet better.

3. Feeling Lonely – We are living in a mobile world where people are moving constantly for school, work, leisure, etc. Therefore, we are often lonely with extended family living at distance, whether hundred miles or thousands of miles. Disintegration of community and relatives is making us get lesser and lesser emotional support.

To cope up with feeling of loneliness, we do need to be with others and feel part of a group. Invite friends over for dinner or extended an invitation to someone for coffee. Be inspired and extend yourself to an activity or an invitation and savor some connection.

4. There is so much anger around us with people upset naturally always. – The frustrations of life comes out in any form at any time with minimal or no provocation at all. Well, you might have heard it million times before, but the coping mechanisms remain same – exercise, meditation, friends and family, vacation time, etc are all the ways to reduce the daily life frustration. Do what you enjoyed once and stopped doing it due to time and its relevance.

5. How can I help or how can I get help – Healthy stepping back from your own world can take you to the longer road of good and destressed life. Keep in mind that grief and loss are part of life. What does loss or grief mean to you? How have you managed your own loss or grief in life? What helped, what didn’t? How can you cultivate them? Time to introspect and help others introspect.

6. Accept that stress is part of life – When stressful situations arise, remind yourself that they are part of life and will come and go. Nothing in this life is permanant – neither does your stress. So take a relaxed approch towards stress in life.

7. Have a realistic outlook about everything in your life. Do not see the world through rose-colored glasses rather have your own outlook which is realistic. You also need to check the silver lining in the tough circumstances. Stressful circumstances are there to make you become stronger and better.

How Many Ways Can We Measure Well-Being?

The definition of well being is different for different people. Everyone has a different opinion about it. But most of the people now believe that it is just not material possessions and consumptions. It is more and more related to other aspects as well such as health and good social relations. Can the happiness and its levels in life can be quoted as the fundamentl attribute towards well being? So what is the real measure of well being? Is it happiness, social progress, or combination of all factors of good life?

How to Measure happiness and Well being?

One possibility of finding this is through some opinion survery where the participants respond to simple questions on their degree of happiness or life satisfaction. According to some of these surveys it has been found that money, econimic progress, financial wellbeing has lesser than expected contribution towards satisfaction.

Some Expert opinion about Well Being

Nobel Prize winner Amartya Sen has pointed out that knowing well-being on the basis of feelings of satisfaction, pleasure, or happiness has below two issues.

The first is called physical-condition neglect wherein, human beings adapt at least partially to unfavourable situations, meaning the poor and the sick can still be relatively happy.

The second issue is called valuation neglect wherein valuing a life is a reflective activity that should not be reduced to feeling happy or unhappy.

The Office for National Statistics in the UK was asked by the Prime Minister David Cameron to know what is happiness and wellbeing and can they be measured. After six months of project the Jill Matheson, the director of the program reported that happiness is one intangible thing and wellbeing is measurable in the same way our economy is.

Some key aspects for Well Being

Children’s happiness
Economy and inequality
Health
Work/life balance

Are you having Self Control over yourself?

Self control is defined by the experts as the impulse control or the ability to delay displaying gratification and controlling emotions. According to the prominent university research, if the person has a better self control, then it leads to better health and prosperity further discouraging crime and substance abuse. It is a vital ingredient in day to day behavior for achieving desired goals and remove all the harmful impulses or emotions.

Questions To Ask Yourself

Do you want to know where you stand towards the self control aspect and how do you think it is going to impact your life? Try answering these questions and know how control you have over yourself?

Are you Emotionally Stable – Do you have generally stable and peaceful mood which does not change drastically within span of hours or minutes, until and unless there is any reason/event for such change?

Are you feeling stable with respect to Self-Image & Life Goals – Do you know who you are and where you are going in your life? Are you certain about your position, standing and journey in life?

Do you have a stable personal relationship – Are you in a stable relationship and you are living peacefully in that relation?

Do you exhibit caution while taking important decisions in your life? – Do you think carefully before saying something or taking some action?

Do you follow genuineness in your day to day life? – Do you have theatrical or attention-seeking ways of speaking and acting?

Do you maintain Chasity in your like and avoid having casual sex (“one night stands”)?

Top tips to Live Your Life Well like a Dream come true

You might have bumped into the articles and theories around how to keep yourself happy and live a life well. These tips are scattered around all subject areas and do not divulge the top of these tips to make you live happier and healthier for years. There are many such tools and tips which can make you feel stronger and more hopeful.

1. Connect with others
2. Stay positive
3. Get physically active
4. Help others
5. Get enough sleep
6. Create joy and satisfaction
7. Eat well
8. Take care of your spirit
9. Deal better with hard times
10. Get professional help if you need it

Why Mental Health Matters for all of us?

Does this question poses any dilemma in your mind thinking that mental health matters only to people with mental illness? Well the answer is mental health is not dependant on you being a patient of mental health.

Here are some of the kep benefits of putting a check on your mental well being and pay attention:

1.You can keep your emotions, thoughts and attitudes under check to affect your energy, productivity and overall health in positive manner.
2. Good mental health strengthens your ability to cope with everyday hassles and more serious crises and challenges.
3. It is essential to creating the life you want.
4. Same as you brush teeth for healthy teeth and gums, take bath for proper hygiene; similarly take steps to promote your mental health. Start with the first step to keep stress under check.

Ten Things You Can Do for Your Mental Health

Each and every one of the us are important and so our thoughts in their individual way are important. We need to take care of our mental health along with the physical health. There has to be a balance which is needed to keep things under positive routine. Follow these tips to help find the right balance in your life.

We should be Valuing ourself – You should be treating yourself with kindness and respect. You should not opt for self-criticism, since it tend to take things in wrong direction. Take your timeout for hobbies and favorite projects, Spend time for something like crossword puzzle, planting in garden, dance lessons, learn to play musical instrument or learn another language. Challenges as well as satisfaction you get by overcoming these hobby related challenges gives greater sense of self respect and value.

Start taking god care of your body since healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Take some of the important steps such as eat nutritious meals, say no to cigarettes, drink lots of water, do regular exercise and get enough rest or sleep. Researchers have time and again proven that sleep deprivation is one of the leading cause of people becoming depressed or mentally unfit.

Always be in company of good and positive people. You can just surround yourself with people who take life as it comes and live it to the fullest. According to research in different universities across locations, people with strong family or social connections are healthier than those who lack a family support network. If being with family is a challenge, then you should participate in activities where you can meet new people, such in a club, class or support group.

Give your services and time for someone else. You can volunteer your time and energy to do something for others which can be tangible for helping others in need.

Stress is present in all phases for all types of people. The only solution to stress is to learn how to deal with it. You can start by practicing good stress coping skills like following One-Minute Stress Strategies, do Tai Chi, exercise, take a nature walk, or write a journal Remember that a good laugh can boost your immune system and reduce stress.

Empty your mind from negative thought and make it free from noise. You can do this for meditation, mindfulness and prayers. It can help improve your state of mind and outlook on life.

Expectation, whether from self or from others are doomed to fail someday. The only solution to this common issue is to set realistic and acheivable goals. Whether the situation is academic, professional or personal, write simple steps which can make you realize your goals. Try not to over-schedule. Progressing towards your goals make you get the satisfaction and determine your own self-worth.

Keep changing your routine things to ensure any monotonous fatigue creeping in your mind. You should break the monotony and perk up a tedious schedule. Someday, try to change your jogging route, take a unplanned road trip, choose different park for your daily meetup, etc.

Say a big NO to alcohol and drugs. These things can only aggravate problems and gives no relief, whether temporary or permanant.

Reach out for help when you think you have some trouble in your daily life and you have tried some of the above tips without remarkable changes. Asking for help is a sign of strength and it is in no sense a type of weakness. In order to lead a full, rewarding life, we should take advice and help from the experts and other people with similar experiences. At the end we are the social animals and the only way to solve our problems is to discuss and seek help.

Top 10 tips to Destress

The Best in Class tips to Cut Down Stress

It’s not stress that kills you it is our reaction to it which makes it so worse.

  1. Identify Your Stress Triggers

The very basic step as with other diseases in the case of stress is to recognize its presence. You have to find the triggers to your stressful reactions and that acts as the first step towards finding ways to recover. You cannot remove your stress since it is inseparable part of life, but you can still find ways to solve the underlying problems.

  1. Meditation and yoga

Meditation can be stated as the best tools which can help you counter stress. It works by releasing the stress right from its origin. Meditation can help you fight the Flight or Fight phenomenon and hence the stress generated due to this. The stress which is created while the Flight or Fight response is generated can be harmful; hence meditation can be really helpful.

  1. Sleep to Combat Stress

Restful sleep for enough hours is very important for keeping and staying healthy. If you are well slept during nights, you would be better equipped to handle any kind of work and hence stress. You need to check the quality and quantity of sleep you are getting every night. It has to be just right and the stress will become light.

  1. Imbibe Gratitude as a Practice

Gratitude is a powerful tool. If you consciously focus on gratitude, you will be experiencing greater emotional wellbeing and physical health. This can create wonders to improve your health and help cope with stress.

  1. Breathe Deeply

Make it a habit to take 5 mins break to perform the breathing exercise. It involves focusing on your breathing and hearing it in both inhale and exhale stages. Deep breathing also counters the effects of stress by slowing the heart rate and lowers blood pressure.

  1. Decompress using Hot bag and relax

Place a warm heat pad around your neck and shoulders for minutes and close your eyes. This will relax your face, neck, upper chest, and back muscles. After removing the warm pad, use a roller to massage away tensions.

  1. Laugh Out Loud

Laughing from the belly also known as belly laugh can lighten the mood mentally, since while laughing, there are many brain chemicals like endorphins which are increased, cortisol is lowered along with stress hormones.

  1. Relaxation to the core

Simply make yourself comfortable whether you are at your desk or any other place. Just think of any peaceful scene, vacation, beach or anything and visualize yourself achieving your future goal. Just think of what makes you happy, whether being stuck up in a elevator with a hot sexy model, or hitting a jackpot.

  1. Eat A Snack (Carefully)

Eating is not always bad for mind and health. In reality, the gut and the brain have a strong connection which is known as ‘gut-brain axis’. There are many research conducted showing the impact of gut and body’s stress response.

  1. Buy Yourself A Plant

In house plants not only cleanses the air within your home, but they can also help you calm down. There is a relaxation response which is released in the presence of a plant around us. So take the help of these green wonders to reduce stress and calm down.

Improve your attitude

How to bring improvement in your Attitude? – Make it more Positive

Do you have a desire to say no to your boss and act on your own at your workplace? No, right, or Yes? Well anyway, you would be tagged for your attitude and behavior – whether as one having pathetic attitude or by one with the right attitude.

If you are the former one, it is a good time to start thinking on changing the perception and improve your attitude – not only towards workplace atmosphere, but also at home or as a matter of fact, everywhere.

  1. Admit to yourself if you are not happy in your life. At least do not lie to yourself and then crib all the time. You should be aware that you need to change something to bring the change and this is the first step towards this. Take control of your thoughts and reactions to events and people.
  2. Optimism is a choice not a born habit. No one is born with a positive or negative attitude. You take one path over the course of your life and it depends on your perspective in life. Just try this simple tip – take a pen in a difficult situation and write 4-5 good things about this difficult situation at hand.
  3. Select positive words while thinking or speaking – Use sentences starting with “I am hopeful,” or, “We will resolve it”. You can change your emotional outlook by this simple change in your handling situations.
  4. Fix up a good daily positive quote for yourself and keep yourself reminding about the same. Say it loudly every morning. For Example – “Something great is going to happen today,” which will rocket you up in the positive direction rather than negative one.
  5. Check on what exactly you would like to change – understand what you wish to change. Setting up of crisp and clear goals gives you success and takes you farther. No one knows you better than yourself. So take charge of your life and you will start seeing changes.
  6. It is an old saying that you become what you keeping your company as. So choose the right company for making yourself change the negative outlook to positive outlook. Consider making friend with new people, especially the ones who are optimistic.

At the end, it cannot be denied that a positive attitude is important, it is equally important to strive for positive attitude always. You can do it too like me!