when im depressd or sad i often make up poems here are 2:
My Pain
My heart has been lied to,
broken up into little pieces of pain.
theres no where to hide from it,
theres no way to tell when it will next pounce.
It awaits me,
like a predator stalking its prey,
it follows me where ever i may go,
and its always there when i arrive.
Friendships of mine are always shattered,
just like my heart when it happens.
people say friendships are made to be broken,
i believe the people who say that are the people that break the friendships.
Everyday i cant bear to live another day,
yet everyday i manage to smile,
laugh and have a good time, or so i say,
behind this smile there is a frown.
Behind these tears of joy,
lies tears of sorrow and pain.
let that not fool you,
i will tell you when i am peaceful again.
onli when i forgive the ones that made me this way,
shall i ever b how i used to be.
real laughter and smiles all round,
it will be a long time before anyone sees the real thing, soon.
People say to me, forgive and forget,
but i cant forgive, and i shall never forget.
my heart doesnt lie,
it speaks the truth.
And the truth, even when most solemn, is wat i stick to,
and somtimes the truth hurts more than the pain inside me.
my life will never have new beginnings…..
so y wont this dreaded life ever end?
-Jc
thy blade
thy blade is my best friend,
its always there,
and its always near.
wheneva im sad,
i reach out for my faithful blade,
and it does wat has to be dun.
it slices throu my soft skin,
the red flesh beneath rippin apart,
the blood oozin out from my arm,
and the d*mn pain of it all stingin inside,
calmin me down, its so soothin.
i no i deserve it,
i always have and always will,
people blame me for everythin,
and i dun blame den,
ive always dun everythin wrong,
i no i do, and so does everyone else.
my life has com to nothin,
so would i care if i cut myself?
no afterall i deserve it,
i deserve everythin i get,
im alrdy filled up with so much pain,
wat would anymore matter?
people say dat i shouldnt cut myself,
its bad for my health emotionally and physically,
but why should i care?
people say a lot of things,
and bsides wat doesnt kill you makes you stronger rite?
my friends say they care,
but why should i believe them?
all my friends have dun is lie to me,
endlessly ova and ova again,
and if they realli did care for me,
then why werent they eva der when i needed them most?
people can say wat they want bout me,
whether im a fake or im real,
i dun care anymore,
my lifes probably gonna end soon anyway….
-Jc