Category: Lifestyle

Do you See what small miracles can do?

Do you believe in small miracles which keep on showing us the real meaning of being alive and also create the vital difference to our emotional wellbeing. There are many wonders in the world like colorful sunset, the kindness of strangers, etc. God puts many such miracles in front of us everyday and we should be relishing them with both hands.

Have you ever thought about the everyday small miracles that occur in your life? Things like finding a $100 bill in a jacket pocket a week before payday. Or when your friends come to your aid even before you understand the need.

Take a moment to ponder the beauty of life, love and friendship, recognizing the power of God’s grace. Stopping and admiring the little miracles of nature and life, seems like a distant possibility in current busy times. Small miracles happening in our everyday life is a significant part of living a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Some of the scientists believe that noticing small miracles can be healing for our brain and is a crucial way to heal and nurture our sense of purpose in life. By this you can create a habit to cultivate joy to refocus when our thoughts are negative and loud. It reconnects us to ourselves. Just see yourself reflected in its beauty, richness and diversity.

How to take notice of small miracles?

Start by using your senses to their fullesh – What do I see, smell, hear, taste and feel?

1. The scent of jasmine wafting past
2. The delicious magic of preparing a cake
3. Spotting a bird that you’ve never seen before
4. Reading a poem that makes you see something
5. Find solace in a rose petal,
6. See the beauty of your partners eyes
7. Read words that help you feel less alone
8. Reconnect to a meal you used to cook with your mom once.
9. Notice something that’s been quietly and beautifully blooming, whether you ever paid attention to it or not.

Tap Into the Inner Genius You Didn’t Know You Had

What is Inner Genius?

There is no place in our brain which is called Genius and you cannot find it in the scientific textbooks. We have read about individuals like Albert Einstein and Leonardo da Vinci, who’ve been popularized as genius by others. What these men have which we do not have which makes them genius? Scientists have researched that and found that few of the “genius” brains may be larger physically. In some cases like Leonardo da Vinci who could write and paint with both hands simultaneously, the explanation moved on to the lateralization of the brain functions.

Dr. Roger Sperry, Nobel Prize winner in 1981, demonstrated the independence of consciousness between the left and right brain hemispheres. Another Dr. Frederic Schiffer’s did a recent researh and wrote a book – “Of Two Minds”. The split brain has a role to play and gives lot more enigmas rather than solution.

There are few cases in which someone acquired savant syndrome and became Genius — people who spontaneously develop prodigious memories and genius level abilities. There are 32 documented cases of Acquired Savant Syndrome worldwide, where, in every case, the savant had no particular skill before the incident or accident that unleashed their inner genius.

It’s not only trauma or injury which inflicts savant syndrome, it can also be develop after other types of brain damage, such as stroke or dementia.

Special skills in acquired savants, like the unusual abilities of “natural savants” like autistic children, usually manifest as musical abilities—most often the piano with perfect pitch, arithmetic abilities, painting, drawing, sculpting, and spatial skills where the savant can construct complex accurate models or excel at direction finding and map making.

Our brain is designed to filter out unwanted details from a familiar concept.

Traits of Longer Life – Tips to Live longer and Healthier

Old is Gold, well yes or no both. We spend most of our lives lost in our reactive mind—worrying about the future, regretting the past. This way of living brings about the opposite of the personality traits associated with a long life. If we are alert and rooted in the present moment, we’ll be more conscientious, open, emotionally stable, friendly, and emotionally expressive, which are the five traits of leading a long and healthy life. Mindfulness is one of the trait which can bring out the other fundamentals found in people who tend to live long, healthy lives.

There is a delimma though, throughout history, elderly people were seen as respected leaders, pillars of wisdom for the community. And yet today, seniors are largely relegated to the corners of our society, marginalized and disrespected, which is partly because growing old is equated with becoming sick, decrepit, and senile.

Five key traits for longevity

1. Conscientiousness – Thorough and efficient people who are less likely to take risks lived longer.

2. Openness – You should be quick to listen to others. Always give a open ear to listen to other person’s feelings and ideas. This will ensure longer life span.

3. Emotional stability – Be emotionally stable which can be the strongest links to living a long life.

4. Friendliness – For women, friendliness is the second highest character quality associated with a long life.

5. Emotional expression – People who lived longer were openly expressed their emotions.

How Do Leaders Deal With Disruption and Changes in Life?

President Kennedy wrote: “Change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are sure to miss the future.”

Change simply means that something is different than it was a minute, a day, a week, a month, a year or a decade or more ago. Some trigger has modified the details of your life, the organization you work for, even global economic conditions.

Change can be caused by evolving external forces, such as the rise of ISIS. Most people did nothing to start this phase of terror perpetrated on the world. But that doesn’t mean they can avoid its ramifications.

And then some change is fostered internally, by the change in the way you see your life going, by new perspectives on your employment, education, relationships, and your health.

Change is disruptive and can even be turbulent — especially when it hits close to home and plays with our emotions. But then leadership today is all about managing disruption. And disruption is an hourly occurrence. Leaders are people who don’t just learn to live with or manage change — they actually create change and help others successfully navigate it.

Listen carefully to catch the change behind the change. Change can be tricky and misleading. Be careful not to make a superficial translation of some trend only to be led down some dead end. Not all change is what it seems on the surface.

If you don’t truly get under the change and analyze it before you react to it, you may miss something — like the critical time to quit your job and move on. You are not the only person in the world affected by change. You may be stuck in a trap where you think that you caused the change in your life and that it is harmful to you alone.

Targeted actions for managing Change for Leaders like CEO’s

Targeting pockets of opportunity: CEOs should focus on a few well chosen initiatives, primarily in their existing markets, to stimulate organic growth.

Concentrating on the customer – CEOs are creating new ways to demand and foster customer loyalty. Few could be capitalizing on digital marketing platforms and involving customers in product/service development. But does not mean they have a open budget. They need to cut down cost of R&D and take care of innovation.

Improving operational effectiveness – CEOs should be balancing efficiency with agility.

A New Way to Understand the Narcissistic Male

though many people can be selfish and conceited from time to time, some individuals take it to a whole other level. When these traits define the person – and they negatively impact everyone who is part of their life for as long as they are a part of it – they usually signal a mental health condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Like all personality disorders, naricissism can have far-reaching consequences for both the one suffering from it and the people who care about them.

Some typical characteristics of Narcissistic Males

Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder have a very distorted sense of self. They are generally “grandiose”, which means they have an inflated or exaggerated opinion of their positive traits and / or abilities. Even though some are very attractive, highly intelligent, or exceptionally talented, narcissists typically regard themselves as elite or exceptional compared to everyone else.

The Statistics of Narcissism

There are no firm statistics available in regard to the frequency of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Psychologists state that 1% of the population is diagnosed with NPD, and that 75% of the cases in therapy are men. Remind yourself that this 1% statistic is gathered only from individuals diagnosed in therapy.

By definition, narcissists severely lack humility and will avoid admitting there’s something wrong with them at all costs. Most narcissists in therapy are forced there by the courts, or have arrived for ‘other’ reasons such as alcoholism or a divorce. They usually don’t show up to deal with ‘narcissistic’ behaviour.

According to experts estimates there are up to 16% of society who are severely narcissistic. This is almost 1 in every 6 people. I believe this is a much more accurate assessment. What is frightening is: narcissists are extremely emotionally insecure.

Narcissists thrive on the praise and admiration of others. Their air of superiority is exaggerated often quite obvious, although some narcissists are very skilled at pretending to be humble when necessary.

Symptoms of Narcissistic Persons

  1. Exaggerated sense regarding their accomplishments and talents
  2. Use of others to get what they want in life
  3. Belittlement of others to boost their fragile self-esteem
  4. Obsessive self-involvement
  5. Inability to feel empathy; lack of a sincere interest in others
  6. Slightest criticism is met with rage and/or shame
  7. Inability to maintain healthy relationships
  8. Unreasonable expectations of favoritism
  9. Striving for constant admiration and attention
  10. Fantasies revolving around personal success and attractiveness

Treatment or Handling options

While medication can help treat symptoms of depression or anxiety that may also be present, there is no medication that is effective for the treatment of narcissistic personality disorder.

How Many Ways Can We Measure Well-Being?

The definition of well being is different for different people. Everyone has a different opinion about it. But most of the people now believe that it is just not material possessions and consumptions. It is more and more related to other aspects as well such as health and good social relations. Can the happiness and its levels in life can be quoted as the fundamentl attribute towards well being? So what is the real measure of well being? Is it happiness, social progress, or combination of all factors of good life?

How to Measure happiness and Well being?

One possibility of finding this is through some opinion survery where the participants respond to simple questions on their degree of happiness or life satisfaction. According to some of these surveys it has been found that money, econimic progress, financial wellbeing has lesser than expected contribution towards satisfaction.

Some Expert opinion about Well Being

Nobel Prize winner Amartya Sen has pointed out that knowing well-being on the basis of feelings of satisfaction, pleasure, or happiness has below two issues.

The first is called physical-condition neglect wherein, human beings adapt at least partially to unfavourable situations, meaning the poor and the sick can still be relatively happy.

The second issue is called valuation neglect wherein valuing a life is a reflective activity that should not be reduced to feeling happy or unhappy.

The Office for National Statistics in the UK was asked by the Prime Minister David Cameron to know what is happiness and wellbeing and can they be measured. After six months of project the Jill Matheson, the director of the program reported that happiness is one intangible thing and wellbeing is measurable in the same way our economy is.

Some key aspects for Well Being

Children’s happiness
Economy and inequality
Health
Work/life balance

Harvey Weinstein Proves Sex Addiction Doesn’t Exist

Harvey Weinstein is been in news recently for allegations of sexual misconduct. He is reportedly seeking treatment at a center in Arizona currently which focuses on sex addiction. He has some serious more than 20 allegations of sexual misconduct, harassment and assault. He stated in one of the emails to the CEO’s and directors the following: “All I’m asking is let me take a leave of absence and get into heavy therapy and counseling. Whether it be in a facility or somewhere else, allow me to resurrect myself with a second chance,” Weinstein reportedly wrote. “A lot of the allegations are false as you know but given therapy and counseling as other people have done, I think I’d be able to get there.”

After Weinstein’s resolution for seeking treatment for sex addiction and the corresponding mental illness can wrongly make such abusive actions stand along with sexual addiction for comparison.

It is not only sexual addiction which can be seen as a mental issuess in Weinstein. There could be other mental problems, too, and why not see his primary problem as

• The abuse of power?
• The incredible lack of empathy?
• Self-destructiveness?
• The fear of being insignificant, of not even existing?
• The inability to keep marital vows?
• The lack of integrity?
• The inability to feel sufficiently nourished by an incredible career?
At the end with the Weinstein’s case it is being discussed deeply that there’s no such thing as “sex addiction,”. So what does Weinstein and others suffer from then?

The difference of offending behavior and ‘sex addiction’

Chris Samuels, director of the Sexual Addiction Treatment and Training Institute in New York, stressed that these are two separate issues. “The perpetrator (of sexual misconduct) is opportunistic, often motivated by power dynamics and often self-justifying and remorseless,” she said. “The sex addict, by contrast, is fairly constantly dealing with compulsive urges to act-out as a coping modality, is seeking emotional relief from stress rather than seeking to exercise power over another, and is rarely without shame or guilt about his or her behavior.”

Can You Change Your Personality?

No two humans walking or ever walked on this planet has the same personality and characters. Everyone is very much unique and different than other and often behave in different ways in different situations. There are no strengths and weaknesses or any particular type of personality and there is no idea of ideal personality just like there is no ideal human being to follow in this world.

That being said, it is almost impossible that at some point in life you will not say “I wish I had a different personality”. You might look for becoming more outgoing, more organized, more resistant to issues and concerns, etc. It would not be a big surprise if the most frequent question people ask for while going for personal development classes is “Can I change my personality?”.

Every personality type is unique and has different strengths. Your basic personality type cannot change, however, you can train yourself and change some of the aspects of your personality that you strive for changing or taking different course in life. Such a change in life is possible either by change in environment or your own willpower.

What the Science thinks about changing Personality

Scientists believe that personality traits not only determine what we are like, but may also impact our social relationships, work experiences, mental and physical health, and other aspects of our life. But a recently published study suggests that our characteristic personality type may be more changeable than we think.

According to researchers at the University of Chicago, who analyzed over two hundred studies to see how different types of psychotherapy and pharmaceutical drug treatments impact personality traits for people with mental-health issues, stated that personality traits are often measured and it is possible to observe shifts in them. These shifts in personality seemed to reflect actual changes in general traits, not just a temporary change in mood, such as the alleviation of depression or anxiety.

What we can do to change the personality?

The first step to making real and lasting changes in personality is to be critical of any self-development program that boasts instant, or radical change. As it takes many years to develop patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, it will take some time in the time of years to to alter them.

Improve your attitude

How to bring improvement in your Attitude? – Make it more Positive

Do you have a desire to say no to your boss and act on your own at your workplace? No, right, or Yes? Well anyway, you would be tagged for your attitude and behavior – whether as one having pathetic attitude or by one with the right attitude.

If you are the former one, it is a good time to start thinking on changing the perception and improve your attitude – not only towards workplace atmosphere, but also at home or as a matter of fact, everywhere.

  1. Admit to yourself if you are not happy in your life. At least do not lie to yourself and then crib all the time. You should be aware that you need to change something to bring the change and this is the first step towards this. Take control of your thoughts and reactions to events and people.
  2. Optimism is a choice not a born habit. No one is born with a positive or negative attitude. You take one path over the course of your life and it depends on your perspective in life. Just try this simple tip – take a pen in a difficult situation and write 4-5 good things about this difficult situation at hand.
  3. Select positive words while thinking or speaking – Use sentences starting with “I am hopeful,” or, “We will resolve it”. You can change your emotional outlook by this simple change in your handling situations.
  4. Fix up a good daily positive quote for yourself and keep yourself reminding about the same. Say it loudly every morning. For Example – “Something great is going to happen today,” which will rocket you up in the positive direction rather than negative one.
  5. Check on what exactly you would like to change – understand what you wish to change. Setting up of crisp and clear goals gives you success and takes you farther. No one knows you better than yourself. So take charge of your life and you will start seeing changes.
  6. It is an old saying that you become what you keeping your company as. So choose the right company for making yourself change the negative outlook to positive outlook. Consider making friend with new people, especially the ones who are optimistic.

At the end, it cannot be denied that a positive attitude is important, it is equally important to strive for positive attitude always. You can do it too like me!

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Spotting the Signs of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is all about gaining control over the other person. In this situation, a person exerts control over the life of another person. It can come in many shapes and forms and can range from very subtle version like damaging words uttered from one spouse to another to something as harsh as intimidating shouts paired with physical abuse.

According to Dr. Donnerfeld, psychologist from New York City, in the context of a relationship, the emotionally abusive person makes verbal attacks to one’s character and person. Communications in the case of emotional abusive relationships are often insulting, threatening, mocking, controlling and critical. The abuser also limits ones access to outside help such as friends, relatives, etc.

Classes of Emotional Abuse

According to the experts, there are below mentioned classes of emotional abuse:

–             humiliating or criticizing the person

–             disciplining a person with degrading punishments

–             not recognising a person’s own individuality and limitations

–             exposing a person to distressing events or interactions

–             never expressing positive feelings towards a the  person

–             never showing any emotions in interactions with the person

Emotional Abuse in Children

Small babies and pre-school children being emotionally abused can show the following symptoms:

  1. They become overly affectionate towards strangers
  2. They tend to show lack in confidence or become highly anxious
  3. Do not display close relationship with their parent
  4. They are aggressive or nasty with animals or other children

Older children Signs and Symptoms for Abuse

  1. They tend to use language that you wouldn’t expect them to know at their age
  2. They struggle to control strong emotions
  3. Often they seem isolated from their parents and friends
  4. They display lack of social skills

Watch Out for These Signs

The signs of emotional abuse can be very difficult to spot and determine.  If you see or hear one person in a relationship being openly verbally abusive to the other one, it is one of the classic emotional abuse examples. You need to look for the more subtle signs, too.