I’ve suffered from depression for over 20 years. I’m 31 and I know I need help but its not that easy. I have no one to talk to. My husband is so insensitive to the subject. He so does not understand what Iam going through. he doesn’t even try. reading some of these I totally understand. but in a way it hurts me even more, cuz if there are so many of us out there that feel this way, why does everyone else make it difficult for us to get help, they judge and laugh. My biggest regret in life is that I didn’t kill myself when I was a teenager. I hate life, I always have. Back than I convinced myself life would get better, boy was I wrong.I think in society it would have been more acceptable to kill myself back than. I have a son and I know he would be better off with out me. Iam probably the worst mother in the world. You think after I kicked a hole in the wall that that would have been a wake up call for my husband and he would have become more caring, ya right.
I have never said any of this stuff before in my life. Does it make me feel better? NO 

Read article on Relationship and Depression  

From–Gina Scheel 

when im depressd or sad i often make up poems here are 2:
My Pain
My heart has been lied to,
broken up into little pieces of pain.
theres no where to hide from it,
theres no way to tell when it will next pounce.
It awaits me,
like a predator stalking its prey,
it follows me where ever i may go,
and its always there when i arrive.
Friendships of mine are always shattered,
just like my heart when it happens.
people say friendships are made to be broken,
i believe the people who say that are the people that break the friendships.
Everyday i cant bear to live another day,
yet everyday i manage to smile,
laugh and have a good time, or so i say,
behind this smile there is a frown.
Behind these tears of joy,
lies tears of sorrow and pain.
let that not fool you,
i will tell you when i am peaceful again.
onli when i forgive the ones that made me this way,
shall i ever b how i used to be.
real laughter and smiles all round,
it will be a long time before anyone sees the real thing, soon.
People say to me, forgive and forget,
but i cant forgive, and i shall never forget.
my heart doesnt lie,
it speaks the truth.
And the truth, even when most solemn, is wat i stick to,
and somtimes the truth hurts more than the pain inside me.
my life will never have new beginnings…..
so y wont this dreaded life ever end?
-Jc
thy blade
thy blade is my best friend,
its always there,
and its always near.
wheneva im sad,
i reach out for my faithful blade,
and it does wat has to be dun.
it slices throu my soft skin,
the red flesh beneath rippin apart,
the blood oozin out from my arm,
and the d*mn pain of it all stingin inside,
calmin me down, its so soothin.
i no i deserve it,
i always have and always will,
people blame me for everythin,
and i dun blame den,
ive always dun everythin wrong,
i no i do, and so does everyone else.
my life has com to nothin,
so would i care if i cut myself?
no afterall i deserve it,
i deserve everythin i get,
im alrdy filled up with so much pain,
wat would anymore matter?
people say dat i shouldnt cut myself,
its bad for my health emotionally and physically,
but why should i care?
people say a lot of things,
and bsides wat doesnt kill you makes you stronger rite?
my friends say they care,
but why should i believe them?
all my friends have dun is lie to me,
endlessly ova and ova again,
and if they realli did care for me,
then why werent they eva der when i needed them most?
people can say wat they want bout me,
whether im a fake or im real,
i dun care anymore,
my lifes probably gonna end soon anyway….
-Jc

One or several of the symptoms listed below is usually present in depression. The severity and constancy of the signs make the illness diagnosable as depression. Often other people recognise depression before the person suffering. 

• Constant tiredness 

• Wanting to be in bed for long periods. 

• Long period of sleep or poor sleep. 

• early morning wakening. 

• Feeling worse in the mornings. 

• Over-eating 

• Loss of appetite 

• Lack of interest in sex 

• Lack of interest in things and people. 

• Becoming isolated from others 

• Loss of self-esteem and self-worth 

• feeling and thoughts of suicide 

• Wories that are going mad 

When we are physically ill, few of us hesitate to seek treatment but the case is very different if we become mentally ill.
Most people find it very hard to accept that they have a mental health problem. However disorders such as depression, anxiety and fobias are commonplace and in most cases, readily treatable. It is important not to suffer alone and to seek medical help if you are suffering from depressive illness.